Baby: To routine or not to routine?

One of the things I obsessed over quite quickly once we brought baby home was a routine... I quickly realised that having a routine was almost impossible in those first few weeks. The best way to keep my sanity and things going was to go with the flow. That period of the first few weeks is such a special, different, kind of bubble that no rules apply in my opinion. Baby is new to the world, a lot of his organs haven't matured yet, everything is a lot for this new little human being. I would get really triggered when someone would mention "He needs to sleep in his bed", or "He should be doing that or this"... There is no should or should not during that time. There is do what makes it easier for you and supports your baby. There is no bad habits here, there is only space to welcome and reassure your baby during his first moments on this planet. I can't give a universal timing when this changes but for us it was definitely after the 12 weeks mark that things started to feel like they could have a little bit more predictability. I would not call it a routine but more of a pattern regarding feeds, naps and what we decided to do with our days. If you are in the early "trenches" I really really would tell you to not stress yourself out with any kind of routine! Follow your baby's lead, he just need to feel accustomed to this world and whatever soothe him go for this without listening to outside voices of what should be done or not. It is your time, your baby and you will have a lifetime to implement routines or some kind of habits. I am writing this as my baby is turning 4 months today. During the third month it was obvious that I relaxed more into how things were going and was getting reassured by the predictability of things that was slowly showing up. I would know around what time he usually wakes up, what time he needs a feed, a nap, a walk etc. It quickly changes though, we are already looking at dropping a nap and maybe moving bedtime... so just to say that even when there is some kind of ritual/routine... it changes quickly so there is no need to be attached to a regimented course of things.

Babies do like repetition, and a degree of predictability but it does not have to be exactly the same every day at the exact same time. I would say that the thing we have kept repetitive and in a kind of a ritual way is what we do before bedtime. Since maybe 12 weeks we have been doing dimmed light, change to PJ, baby massage while speaking to him in a low slow voice, putting sleep sack on, white noise, dummy and saying good night, putting him in cot and reassuring him till he falls asleep. When we started it, he definitely was not really receptive to the massage but I would keep it short and just make it something for him to have a reference of what time of the day it is so he would associate it with night time. The next few weeks I would say that this routine worked well and would get him to sleep quite easily. Fast forward to now... and he loves the massage but his brain probably registered now that it means sleep is soon... and as soon as the massage is over there are cries up until he fall asleep even if we kept the rest the same. So it is definitely trial and errors, find your own recipe and take every advice you find online with a grain of salt and definitely do not stress yourself out.

And one thing... do no try to fix something that is not broken haha. If something is working at the moment use it till it does not work anymore, don't try to change it because other people say to.